'i believe'

Sometimes you just have to get through all the hardest things before you can reach to the point you badly want .. People won’t stop talking and telling but there’s one thing in your heart that will easily ignore all the distraction, it’s your ‘guts’! Keep believing yourself before you believe or rely on others . One thing you have to remember, “Aim for the moon or the highest things in your life; because if you can’t reach the moon unless you could fall on the stars.” When there’s no one else, look inside yourself and trust your voice within coz it will guide your way.

No one can stop me from doing what I love to do. I can do whatever I want with the guidance of the Almighty Allah S.W.T. I believe in myself and I never regret anything that happens in my life, I surely believe everything’s happen for a reason. Today I may have you, but at the end of the day I will be alone and drown on my own. I can’t recall every littlest thing, but the best memoirs will always be remembered. My achievement is on the way, will finally arrive at a right place. Everything that you have set in your mind will be done nicely, just trust yourself because there’s no barrier for you to reach the top, obviously.

♥ ♫ Ruangan Maya ♥ ♫

♫Jatuh♫

Seketika ku terfikir

Perasaan yang tiba semalam

Jangan pernah mengasingkanku

Daripada damai pelukan

Terhenti nafasku berlari

Dibelai lembut seindah mimpi

Berlagu berbisik hati mu

Semulajadinya aku jatuh

Beginikah rasanya kasih

Yang tiada kacau keraguan

Terkunci mata mu mencari

Berkata aku lah yang dinanti

Berlagu berbisik hati mu

Semulajadinya kamu jatuh

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tidur

Terhenti nafasku berlari

Berkata aku lah yang dinanti

Berlagu berbisik hati ku

Semulajadinya aku jatuh

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tak ku mampu tak ku mampu

Tak ku mampu

♫Lyrics in My head♫

W hat a wonderful life . :) Smile is the only expression that i can give this time. :)) Jatuh lagi .. di ruangan maya .. :p Maya jiwa , bukan alam maya sosial . tapi maya yang bermain dalam jiwa . Bermain dengan khayalan dan perasaan . (Jazz musics mode) santai .. itu yang boleh aku ringkaskan.

Perasaan yang tiba kemarin , masih kekal disana. Terhuyung- hayang aku dalam ombak perasaan, menyaksikan satu reaksi yang membuat ku keliru. Terkunci mata mu mencari, sekilas terlihat berdetik hati berkata betapa agungnya yang di Nanti . tak ku mampu terus membiarkan perasaan ini bernota tanpa lagu . Aku tahu , aku berlalu, namun perasaan ku tinggal di situ . Aku senyum terpandang wajah mu yang menghiburkan, lantas aku terkaku. Biarlah kamu sekelian manusia bising dan bingit memekakkan telinga tapi aku di sini 'diplaster' rasa indah, bertemankan lagu yang membuai telinga, yang cuma aku saja yang rasa . kau masi di situ bermain dalam bayangan minda . Oh khayalan ku terbang melayang .. 'Crazier!' Haha . Namun aku terus berjalan jauh, mengekalkan 'life decision' hala tuju ku . :)

YOU ..

FATHER . Dad . papa . i rarely can say these 3 magic words . In fact , i'm not used with these words, even though these words are the most 'saying' words among youngsters, children and sort of. LET me begin ...

when i was young , sometimes i whispered to myself "why there's no one that i can call my daddy" , sometimes i sat by myself and reminisce. The day he left me and my brothers is the day he left all his responsibility. HOW useless. If someone asked me at that time, " do u miss ur father?" i replied " No, he made my mum cried, i don't like it". If someone asked me at this moment , do u remember ur father?" i will reply " YES. i remember he left us, i remember how he broke my mom's heart, i remember the day he called my mum and confess everything ." In fact , i don't really need him in my life, even sometimes i really want to call someone as My father, my dad, my papa, but that's just a word which less in meaning.

A father means ; someone who could give u love , care , as a parent. Be an influence in their children’s lives, be involved, interact, and spend time with their children , love and nurture their children without harassment from the other parent, and participate in the parenting of children.There are many more, but these are the most important roles that they can play . Not money that can develop a child, not even a shelter that can protect them , but love, care and the way they treat are the things that could build them up, develop and give support to them.

How wonderful , day by day i kept saying to myself 'why's there nobody to call as my dad'. As i grew up , i saw and i felt there's someone who give me love, care, protect me, give shelters to me, interact with me, spend time with me, be involved in all my activities, attend and participate in my extracurricular activities and determine my faith in my religious.I Have three person in my life that i can categorize as above. My MOM, My Grandpa and My Grandma . i had HIM my 'BELOVED GRANDPA' i had her my 'WONDERFUL MOM' and 'My LOVELY Grandma . I don't need a FATHER , which i can just call him by name, but i need someone that i listed above. They are the person that had everything to comfort me well.

When i was a kid my grandpa bought me a DVD player and he always bought me CD (compact disc) to entertain me. Because i really love to sing / karaoke with my grandpa. We always sang a song together, he taught me how to sing well . My grandma always choose my favorite Cd and i will sing whenever i loved to. Sometimes my grandpa will cut us a banana tree, to took off the internal of the banana which is so delicious when he cooked for us. He did everything that we loved . He showed us how much he loved me and my brothers. He's the most polite , generous, loving person, and the greatest person i ever known. He live in my memories.

Sadly, he's no longer here with us . He left me with thousand tears, and there's so many sweet stories to tell about him. He left us because he knows we can live and stand on our own , he didn't left us when we are not able to walk, to run , or to stand in our own feet. He left us when we are ready and when we are able to . I LOVE U GRANDPA. You're not here with us but u live in our hearts. You live in our memories. AL - FATIHAH.

As for my mom , she gave us everything .. she's the strongest woman,the most wonderful .. undeniably , she's the main person who play an important role to every littlest things in our life . she gave us support, love, care and get involved in everything we love to do. The love she has deep in her heart, Always gives me a good jump start, She is the one who's love is true. Thank u Mom for being u . i love you MOM . i miss u soo muchh .. :')

My greatest mom & my beloved Grandpa at my uncle's wedding.

My Grandma & Grandpa in Celebrating Hari Raya. Their Heart will go on . Love Forever.

Standing still ..

Biarlah biarlah rasa ini terus disini bersama ku .. biarlah kewujudan mu memberi aku kekuatan untuk terus berdiri , meski waktu terus berlalu mengisi keraguan di benak fikiranku .. meniti hari yang kosong tanpa erti , memenuhkan tiap ruang yang terdampar layu .. hari-hari sepi tanpamu , mencipta pelbagai perasaan yang tak mampu untuk aku gambarkan .. menyimpan sejuta rasa yang tak mampu terungkapkan ..

Hidup yang aku jalani kini membuat aku menyedari aku boleh berjalan jauh tanpa roda , boleh duduk tanpa sofa , boleh tidur tanpa duka . eya ! aku bangga aku hidup begini , hidup dengan kekuatan yang ada pada diri sendiri , aku bina semangat itu dengan utuh , walaupun payah tapi aku mencuba tanpa kenal putus asa .

''tanpa sedar aku telah berdiri dengan megah walaupun tidak mewah'' .

Tiap detik berlalu , bagai ombak beralun menghempas pantai .. waktu akan berhenti , semangat akan mati , jiwa akan punah , rindu akan sia-sia , hati akan rapuh , raga akan terhapus . akhirnya cerita tentang hidup tetap tamat dengan ‘tanah’ , yang datang tak terduga . Biarlah tiap-tiap perjalanan yang dilalui tetap terisi dengan kenangan yang abadi .

Biar saja hati tetap terus tabah dan mampu menjadi seteguh karang , mampu menjadi seluas lautan , setinggi langit , dan bersinar seperti bintang , biar pun terkadang karang yang teguh juga mampu pecah , lautan yang luas juga bisa surut , langit yang tinggi juga bisa terasa rendah , bintang yang bersinar juga bisa pudar tak bercahaya .. hidup yang indah takkan selalu sempurna , perasaan akan berubah – ubah , dunia akan berputar , masa akan memakan usia .

berdirilah sedaya yang mampu , berlarilah sejauh mungkin , mendakilah seluruh tenaga mu , mengayuhlah dengan semangat utuh . hari – hari akan menjadi indah dengan ada Nya Dia dalam hati mu. Percayalah …